Gascoigne will play for Farnborough FC and so will Messi, Best, Banks and Pele
Gazza, Mezza, Bezza, Bazza, and Pezza all turning out for a Conference South side? Something fishy's going on here... at least one's dead, surely?
Are you watching, Arsene? Don't waste time and money running around trying to sign the best players in the world - just get your existing ones to change their names by deed poll!
That's the wheeze being perpetrated by Skrill Conference South side Farnborough FC at the behest of their new club sponsors.
Every player in the first-team squad has legally changed their name by deed poll to the name of a legendary player in their position, according to a press release.
That means when Chelmsford City line up against Farnborough this Saturday the XI put out by Jose Mourinho (formerly boss Spencer Day) could include the likes of Gascoigne, Best, Pele, Banks, Beckenbauer and Maradona.
Truly the greatest team the world has ever seen, on paper.
Sponsors Paddy Power have ordered the fun to commence having helped the club out of financial hole. Farnborough have been in administration since April.
The new sponsorship deal sees Paddy Power become title sponsors of the club, to include kit branding and stadium sponsorship.
Mourinho (not that one) said: "Over the summer it looked touch and go whether we'd even start the season, but now we've got by far the greatest team the world has ever seen. Although it's not all good news, Pelé and Maradona have almost come to blows over who gets to wear the number 10."
Paddy Power the person (real name), of Paddy Power the bookmakers (some relation), added: "We're waiting with bated breath for their opener on Saturday to see how Farnborough's rivals deal with a frontline led by Pele and Messi - and a defence marshalled by our captain Hansen. Hopefully Zidane keeps a cool head in midfield...!"
Alan Hansen, the greatest defender in football history.
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