David Beckham Lovers

By John Drayton

PUBLISHED: 05:39 EST, 13 August 2013 | UPDATED: 05:46 EST, 13 August 2013

David Beckham, Paul Gascoigne and Lionel Messi have been signed by Farnborough FC after the Conference South outfit unveiled a host of new players for the upcoming campaign.

The trio will be joined by Diego Maradona, Gary Lineker and Johan Cruyff with manager Jose Mourinho taking his place in the dugout this term. Confused? You needn't be.

Following a sponsorship deal with bookmakers Paddy Power, the Farnborough squad and their coaching staff have legally changed their names to that of a legendary footballer in their respective positions.

Goalkeeper Kevin Scriven will line up in the sticks as legendary England stopper Gordon Banks, striker Daniel Bennett becomes Lionel Messi while Spencer Day, the club's manager, will adopt Mourinho's identity.

'Over the summer it looked touch and go whether we'd even start the season, but now we've got by far the greatest team the world has ever seen,' said Day, now known as Farnborough's 'Special One'.

'Although it's not all good news, Pele and Maradona have almost come to blows over who gets to wear the No 10,' he added.

Farnborough's deal with the Irish bookmakers sees Paddy Power become titles sponsors of the non-League side.

The deal will include kit branding and stadium sponsorship with Cherrywood Road to become Paddy Power Park.

'The end result is that, on paper, the Skrill South team will be without doubt the best combination of playing talent that has ever been assembled,' said a Farnborough press release.

'It's not just the Farnborough FC faithful, all Skrill South fans now need only to travel to Paddy Power Park, and not Nou Camp, to see some of the world's best players.'